The tiny shack of a house definitely fell into the run-down category, and the land itself felt like a jungle (or a secret garden), with an insane number of blackberry bushes and overgrown everything. But it was beautiful and I knew it could be the perfect home even though it was in shambles. I grabbed my phone to call Brian and told him to come see it. When he drove up, he smiled, his eyes filled with excitement. I remember it like it was yesterday; we walked around the property imagining how we could clean it up, where a garden could go, and what we would change. It was perfect.

We called our realtor and he made a few calls and found out the property was owned by the next-door neighbor. It was on twenty acres, it hadn't been updated since the 1970s, and no one had lived in it for years. There was only one problem... it wasn't for sale. But we had a vision, so we figured why not ask if the neighbor would be willing to sell? Our realtor contacted him and (miracle!) he was willing to sell! We were over-the-moon excited. After a few days we started escrow, hoping it would be quick... but it wasn't. The crazy back-and-forth lasted forever. As we encountered and overcame one hurdle after another, months went by (the owner lost the deed and a million other crazy things), and we wondered if our dream would ever happen.

In the midst of all this, we were going through a lot of challenges at church as well. A few key people on our worship team were moving and it really affected what we had worked so hard to build; plus, there were some other difficult dynamics and “growing pains” we were having to work out. Brian and I were arguing a lot from the stress of dealing with it all emotionally.

At some point during this trying season, Brian and I flew to England to lead worship for an event, and it was nice to be away from the house escrow drama as well as the drama that was happening with our team. The trip came as a welcomed break, especially because the kids were staying home with Grandma on this trip (hallelujah!), so even the long flight felt like a vacation.

One night while we were there, a woman I didn't know came up to me during prayer ministry time at the end of the service and asked if she could pray for me. I love receiving prayer; I'll let just about anyone pray for me (unless I get a weird feeling), and this lady had a very peaceful presence and actually reminded me of a close friend. So I said, “Of course.”

For the next two hours, she led me through an incredible inner healing session. She told me to ask God, “What lies have I been believing?” Instantly, this is what I heard God say: You believe that you haven't loved well, and you haven't led well. Because if you had, no one would leave you. I started sobbing. That was the lie, loud and clear. And I could feel it being uprooted like a weed. Just like in gardening when things grow, as the church and our team had, weeds had grown too. They needed to be pulled out and this lie was one of them. I told her what God had shown me and she said, “Thank You, Father, for showing her the lie. Now I ask You to show her a picture of the truth.” Instantly God showed me a scene from the prodigal son story in the Bible- and it was like watching a movie and fast-forwarding to the exact part I needed to see... the part when the son is leaving his home, his family, and his father. I felt God say to me, The father didn't chase after his son in the story. He let him go. Sometimes, even in family, to love them well means you have to ... let them go.

Let. Them. Go. That was it. That's what I had to do.

One by one, faces came to mind--people who wanted to leave “home,” and whom I needed to let go. I repented right there for wanting them to stay and trying to control them because I thought I knew what was best for them. But it had become clear that it wasn't my decision to make. I needed to not only have an open hand to welcome anyone who came onto the team, but also to accept the decision of anyone who left.

She prayed with me through a few more things she was hearing from God and gave me a huge hug. The room that had once been packed with thousands of people now had only a couple left, who were waiting on us to turn out the lights. The woman, who told me her name was Helena, handed me her phone number and told me I could call her anytime if I needed anything. I thanked her again and again, my shirt soaked with tears, but my heart ten pounds lighter.

I told Brian about my healing encounter with God (and Helena), and he was so happy for me. It also made him realize he needed, and wanted, the same thing for himself. We headed home to California the next day, and Brian ended up having a phone conversation with Helena a few days later. Here's where it gets even more fun: this woman knew nothing about our dream-house-shack-land situation, yet, as she was praying with Brian, God showed her an image of a house that had been abandoned and overgrown with "briars," also called ... blackberry bushes. Brian was wide-eyed as Helena described what she saw: “I see this house as a picture of your heart. God wants to untangle and remove the thorns, restore it, and enlarge it.” What?! Amazing! And God's timing for this could not have been more perfect. 

Our hearts being healed and restored and the restoration of this house and property were connected! Of course. It made so much sense. It's just like God to parallel something in the natural and the spiritual.

Shortly after we had this revelation, our realtor called. After ten long months, our house escrow closed! We knew the timing wasn't a coincidence. Driving to our house that day, I heard God say to me, I didn't want to give you your promise until your hearts were ready for it. He wasn't holding out on us; He just wanted our hearts to be free and ready for what He had in store for us. Like when you pull all the weeds out of a garden bed before you plant something.

~ Jenn Johnson, ‘All Things Lovely’ pp 5-8